Let Go and Let God
by BeTheDream
Summary: It was a tough night. Sara needed a release but the last thing she wanted to do was relapse. This was Nick's fault. If he hadn't been such an ass, she wouldn't have come so close to the bottle. One-Shot based off of the new CSI promo. It doesn't really contain spoilers, but just in case, read at your own risk.


**A/N: After watching the new promo, and talking about with Sophie, we came up with this. She does all my thinking, my partner in crime. The first 2 lines are direct from the promo. Enjoy :)**

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**Let Go and Let God**

"_Look, I already told you Sara. I quit."_

"_Not tonight. Tomorrow, you can do whatever you want."_

"D.B's granddaughter is missing. We need you at the lab Nick." Sara said, trying to sound comforting towards Nick. She leant up against the concrete wall.

"You don't need me. Ya'll can manage just find on your own." He grumbled. "If he needs us so bad, why aren't you at the lab now?"

"They called Ecklie after you got arrested. He sent me for you; since I was due to take the day off. I'm going back to the lab in a few hours." Sara explained. "And because you're my friend."

The tension in the air was thick, as was the smell of alcohol. Nick looked pathetic. Sara knew she shouldn't be too hard on him, but she was so pissed off that she couldn't stop herself. Nick was being so incredibly selfish. Their boss' granddaughter had been kidnapped and he was getting wasted and arrested.

The blood trickle down Nick's chin was distracting her. How could he be so stupid? He was overreacting. That's why he quit. He lost his cool for a split second and acted rashly. Nick was smart. He knew better than this. What he needed was to sober up and get a grip.

"Nick..." She began to say.

"I'm not backing down on this Sara. I quit. That's it." Nick dropped his head down and stared at the floor.

"It gets a little tough and you just leave? I thought you were better than that Nick." Sara replied.

"Don't get so high and mighty with me Sara. You quit, remember that?" Nick said bitterly.

Sara was taken aback by his comment. She wanted to march over to him and slap him hard. She didn't deserve that. He didn't even look like he regretted what he said. Sara bit her lip and frowned.

"That...that was different" Sara shook her head and tried to keep her voice even.

Nick laughed quietly. "Was it really Sara?"

"You know damn well it was." She fumed. "I got kidnapped and nearly murdered. You had a bad night. That's a hell of a difference."

Sara narrowed her eyes in Nick's direction. He sat there, staring at the wall ahead of him. She was furious. Nick had no right to be like this. She was trying to help him and he was treating her like she was the bad guy. Sara turned and stormed out of the cell.

"Make sure he gets home." She muttered to the police officer who had escorted her there.

As Sara drove home, her hands trembled against the steering wheel. She really had to focus on the road ahead of her. It was like she could feel her self-control slipping away. All she wanted to do was help out a friend and it had come back to bite her in the ass. Nick was being a jerk. He could spend all night in the cell for all she cared. It would probably do him some good.

Nick sat uncomfortably in the back of the police officers car. He kept replaying the conversation with Sara over and over. He went through waves of guilt, which were broken up by feelings of anger and resentment. Why did she have to get involved? This was none of her business.

"Damn it." He muttered, punching his fist into the car seat. "Hey buddy, can you take me to Sara's place. I gotta talk to her."

The police officer nodded and carried on driving until he was able to turn around and head in the direction of Sara's house.

Sara pulled her car into the parking lot of liquor store near her house. Without thinking, she brought herself a bottle of red wine and a bottle of whisky. At this moment, she wasn't sure she was actually going to drink them. She just needed to know that they were there - a backup plan of sorts. She drove the last 5 minutes back to her house, trying to ignore the bottles clanging together on the passenger's seat.

She didn't bother switching the lights on, even though her house was eerily dark. It was empty, as usual. Grissom was away again. He couldn't be the support she needed right now. Talking to Nick had brought everything to the surface again. Sara stood the two bottles next to each other on the kitchen counter. Out of one of the cabinets, she took a large wine glass and a smaller tumbler. She set them down in front of the appropriate bottles.

"Wine" Sara whispered to herself.

She uncorked the bottle and let the pure red liquid flow into the glass. The scent of it quickly and easily filled the room. It smelt warm and comforting. She hadn't had a drop of alcohol in a long time. This was so tempting. Sara lifted the glass and held it up in her eye line. She brought it towards her lips, but paused. She carefully swirled the glass, allowing the scent to completely take over her. Sara closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. As she put her lips against the rim of the glass, her hands tightened and she froze. She put the glass down on the counter hurriedly and stepped away from it, in an almost fearful way.

Sara grabbed the phone and hastily dialled in Grissom's cell phone number. She knew the time difference made this call very inconvenient but she was desperate to talk to him. She needed him to help her through this. She needed him to stop her from slipping back into her past.

"Grissom" She whispered down the phone, before he had chance to say anything.

"Sara? Honey, is everything okay?" He sounded worried.

"No. Not really." She chuckled softly. "It's been a busy night in Vegas. I needed to hear your voice."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Grissom offered gently.

"Where do I start?" Sara said. "Russell's granddaughter was kidnapped. Nick quit and then got into a huge fight at a bar. He got arrested. Oh, and I have a large glass of red wine on the kitchen counter."

"Sara, did you...?" Grissom asked, his sentence trailing off.

"No, I haven't drunk anything. I called you instead." She smiled to herself.

"I'm sorry I can't be there Sara. If I could be, I would." Grissom tried to reassure.

Hearing Grissom's gentle voice was enough for her to regain her self-control. She walked back into the kitchen. With the phone resting between her head and shoulder, she poured the wine and the whiskey down the sink. She only got the cheap stuff for this exact reason. She had enough faith in herself that she knew she would end up throwing it all away.

For a few minutes, Grissom recalled details of his day. It was mindless chatter, just enough for Sara to take her mind off of everything. It helped her to forget about her overwhelming need to have a drink. It wasn't worth throwing away all her hard work. Sara needed to work through her problems, not drown them. Tears started rolling silently down her cheeks. It was the bittersweet feeling she got whenever she spoke to Grissom. She had almost broken, but he had pulled her up from it. Just like he had the last time.

A banging sound made her jump. Then the doorbell rang a few times. Sara rolled her eyes and wiped the away the tears with the back of her hand.

"I gotta go. I love you." Sara said down the phone, not wanting to hang up.

"I love you too." Grissom replied. Then the line went dead.

Sara hesitantly made her way to the front door.

"Sara, it's Nick. Open up." He called out, banging against it a few more times.

She opened up the door and frowned at the man standing in front of her. Sara did not appreciate this visit. He was the last person she wanted to see right now. Regardless, she let him into the house. Nick quietly thanked her and pulled off his boots.

"What do you want, Nick?" She frowned.

"I want to apologise. I didn't mean what I said. I was just angry." He paused. "Not with you. Just with the situation. I was pissed off at myself and I was taking it out on you. That wasn't fair."

"It's okay." She shrugged.

"No, no it's not Sara. I'm supposed to be your friend. You tried to help me and was an ass." He sighed.

"Yeah, you were." Sara replied bluntly.

"I'm sorry, Sara. Really I am." Nick pleaded. "Can you forgive me?"

Sara paused. She took a moment to study Nick's expression. He did look truly sorry. She was sure that if he could go back, he would take back all the hurtful things he said to her. The ever-familiar AA mantra came rushing back to her. She smiled softly.

"Let go and Let God."


End file.
